


I Know.

by Bounceberry88



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-22
Updated: 2019-01-22
Packaged: 2019-10-14 17:15:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17512658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bounceberry88/pseuds/Bounceberry88
Summary: It's raining.





	I Know.

Glancing at his cowboy hat rested on the side table, Jesse slid open the glass door to the balcony. The air was cool, and the rain was somewhat nice to hear as it splattered onto the exotic leaves below. The plastic roof above wasn’t much use in terms of light because it was so early, but it kept things dry.

As he stepped out onto the balcony properly, Jesse blinked at Hanzo, who sat in the chair quietly. He was looking for a reaction, a greeting, any acknowledgement at all, but the Shimada continued to stare out at the rainforest, not moving even when Jesse pulled out the plastic chair next to his and sat down quietly.

Jesse waited, hoping Hanzo might at least notice him, but there was only silence, save for the rain and the birds. It was soothing, but McCree wasn’t particularly focused on the ambience. Hanzo looked crestfallen, his eyes glazed and hands gripping the now cold mug of tea tightly. Jesse wished he didn’t recognize this look. Wished he’d never witnessed all the pain behind it.

“One of those days, huh?” He murmured softly, looking out over the balcony.

Out of the corner of his eye the cowboy spotted Hanzo twitch, and relief washed through him. At least he was still somewhat conscious.

Hanzo heard his question, of course he did, but he didn’t answer. He didn’t need to. Jesse knew him well enough to not need verbal confirmation. This was one of those days.

“Y’know, when you get like this you don’t talk a lot.” He said softly. He saw Hanzo turn to look at him, and quickly continued. “I don’t wanna make you think ya hafta. But I only bring it up because when you do talk, it’s always nice stories.” He explained, not missing the way Hanzo’s shoulders relaxed slightly as he turned back to the forest. Jesse briefly considered pulling out a cigar, but he knew Hanzo hated them. He’d promised to try better the last time it was brought up, and this wasn’t the time to start any arguments. Well, it’d be less arguing and more Hanzo silently grimacing, probably thinking of all the ways he was going to murder Jesse in his sleep, but that was even worse. If Hanzo was too far gone to argue, Jesse thought it was safe to assume the world was ending.

He didn’t want to test that theory.

“I don’t think you really wanna tell me any stories right now, huh? Gotta save ‘em for later…” Jesse blinked down at the trees. _After all, stories are all that’s left..._ He thought to himself, trying not to breathe in sharply at the jab of pain in his chest. Right. He needed to be strong right now. Not just for himself.

“How about I tell you a story instead? I have some good ones from way back when,” Another pause. Hanzo didn’t give any indication he was listening. Jesse knew he was, though.

“Well, let’s see…” Jesse put his hand up to his chin, pretending to think even though he already knew what story he’d be telling.

“Okay, right, I got one. So when me and him first met, in the medical ward, he didn’t talk. He just glared all the time. Thought he hated me for no reason, but I found out later he wasn’t actually angry at anyone. He just didn’t want nobody to talk to him for those first couple o’ months. Can’t say I blame him, a lotta the nurses were annoying. Like, _really_ annoying. Apart from Angie, of course, but she’s always been an exception.” Quickly realizing he was rambling, McCree rested a hand on the railing.

“Anyway, so he used to glare at me constantly whenever I went to visit him in between missions. No explanation at the time, just pure unadulterated hatred for no reason whatsoever. Not even Angela knew why, and she monitored literally everything about him.” Jesse smiled at the thought, shaking his head softly.

“I kept tryna make friends with him though. He was s’posed to be workin’ with us as soon as he got better, I wanted to at least be able to know him a bit. So I kept thinkin’ and thinkin’, tryna come up with a way for us to make friends. Then I had an idea. Next time I went to the ward, I showed up at his bed with a very special possession o’ mine. I brought my ol’ tablet with games on it. Figured he might be missin’ Hanamura, and it turned out I was right. He just took it right outta my hands.” Jesse risked blinking at Hanzo for a couple seconds, not sure how to take the sad smile on his face.

“He loved the thing. I sat there for like half an hour while he went through all my apps and games. Then he finally got to a racing game. I think he musta recognized it because he had a look through all of it. He checked my stats, and messed with my characters... When he was done he put the tablet down and looked up at me. He wasn’t glaring anymore. He was smiling, kinda. An’ then, I kid you not, he said to me,” Jesse paused, grinning at Hanzo, seeing the anticipation in the way his shoulders tensed and his brow furrowed slightly.

“He said to me, ‘Wow, you suck at this game’, and that was it.” Jesse let out a chuckle, shaking his head again. It was true, really. He’d been awful at that game.

“I stared at him for a few minutes. I was shocked. I’d been waitin’ all this time to hear him speak and then he only broke his silence to insult me. I s’pose it gave me an accurate first impression, really, but I was still pretty surprised.” He murmured, crossing his arms and resting his elbows on the railing.

“An’ then I stuck my hand out and introduced myself. He smiled then, an’ shook my hand. ‘Nice to meet you. I’m G-’,” Jesse stopped, closing his eyes tightly as the wave of sadness hit him.

“ ‘Genji Shimada’ ”

The name hung in the air coldly. A cruel reminder. Jesse wished he’d picked a different story.

“A-And from then on, uh- w-we were friends.” Jesse breathed, still not opening his eyes. He leaned back as far as he could in the chair, letting his arms fall limply to his sides.

It hurt still. It hurt so, _so_ much. His best friend. The reason he ever met the love of his life. The _brother_ of that love. An Overwatch Agent, then a Monk, then an Overwatch Agent again, but less shady the second time around… And above all, he’d been a hero.

Jesse could handle the pain. He’d always been able to handle the pain. He’d been losing important things for his whole life. His ma, his freedom, the closest thing he would ever have to a father, dozens of friends from before the Switzerland incident… Hell, Jesse had lost his _arm_. His _limb_. _A physical part of his being_. He’s always known loss.

And then he lost Genji. Jesse saw it happen. He could handle it.

Hanzo couldn’t handle the pain. It was fascinating, really. You break his bones, you leave him crippled, you steal all his riches, he’ll be fine. He’ll recover. But Hanzo never learned to lose the most important things. Jesse had heard it all. The Shimada never knew his mother, he hated his father, all the other members of his clan were monsters… The only thing Hanzo ever needed was Genji. He was forced to kill him. Then he realized his mistake, and after suffering for years from guilt, he found Genji again. Hanzo didn’t make the same mistake twice. He followed Genji to Overwatch and became a hero. Everything went well for Hanzo once he let go of the things that didn’t matter.

And then he lost Genji. The second time, he was actually dead. Hanzo couldn’t handle it.

Oh god, he couldn’t handle it at all.

The silence. It stretched on for weeks. Months. It seemed so endless. He didn’t speak. He didn’t even try to communicate in any way. He stared nowhere. The first time Jesse heard him laugh after what happened it was a shrill and hoarse sound, devoid of real happiness. It was a ghost of true joy, and it was haunting.

The nightmares. Shaking, twisting and turning, yelling, sobbing, fighting. They couldn’t even really be called _night_ mares, because they followed him in the day. Paranoid and scared, jumping at the slightest noise. Worse than bad dreams was the insomnia, when Jesse would wake in the earliest hours of the morning to find him just staring at the ceiling, completely still and completely awake.

The crying. There was none at first. Three weeks with dry eyes, despite the tragedy. Some of the others didn’t get it, and looked to McCree for an explanation, but he couldn’t give any. Then the cowboy went to start packing up all of Genji’s old things, only to see Hanzo on the floor, the choked sobs escaping him barely audible but still so heartbreaking. Once the tears started falling they didn’t stop, and it was another week before he could even hear Genji’s name without trying to escape the conversation.

Hanzo couldn’t handle losing Genji. Jesse could.

He saw all the stages of grief over a very, very long period of time. He watched and supported Hanzo through the ups and the downs of all his different troubles. He saw the horror when the Shimada was told, and the fury when he tried to say it wasn’t true. He saw Hanzo praying to whatever gods he could, and Jesse was the one to talk him out of demanding Angela bring his brother back. McCree did his best to convince him to get up in the morning, and when it was clear it was too much, the cowboy simply sat down next to him and spent his day there. Jesse never let the archer feel like he was alone. Hanzo needed him to be strong for the both of them.

When acceptance came, Jesse barely noticed the shift from so bad, to so... normal. If you could call it that. Normal was changed, really. Nothing would ever be the same. Fun trips out. Christmas parties. Even just going to the supermarket. Nothing was how it used to be.

Jesse opened his eyes when he felt a hand brush against his. He blinked down at it, then got out of his chair. The cowboy held a hand out to Hanzo, and smiled when it was accepted. Pulling the Shimada up, he turned them both to face east, and they looked out from their sheltered little balcony as the clouds lit up, glowing from the sun rising through the mist. Jesse wrapped his arms around Hanzo’s waist, resting his head on the archer’s shoulder. It was a few moments before the Shimada spoke.

“He didn’t like the rain.” He murmured. Jesse’s eyes fluttered shut.

“I know.”

Genji was gone. They could handle it. Together.

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by [this](https://youtu.be/c9pQYOGIWM8) and a gloomy day.


End file.
